


Eddie Lives Oneshots

by punchbowls



Category: IT (1990), IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Angst, Eddie Kaspbrak Lives, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-01
Updated: 2020-09-02
Packaged: 2021-02-27 04:02:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 7,600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22070743
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punchbowls/pseuds/punchbowls
Summary: Do you wanna get some uuuuuuhhhhhhh more 1990s Eddie lives fics? I shall supply. Mostly quick oneshots to fulfill my own desperate needs, but I hope enjoy also.
Relationships: Ben Hanscom & Eddie Kaspbrak, Eddie Kaspbrak & Beverly Marsh, Eddie Kaspbrak & Everyone, Eddie Kaspbrak/Richie Tozier
Comments: 24
Kudos: 56





	1. Eddie & Beverly

Eddie's screams echoed through Beverly's ears even after she woke up. She breathed heavily as she stared up at the ceiling and vivid memories ran rampant through her mind. Tears stung her eyes and she decided she couldn't stay in her room any longer.

A little later, she found herself standing in the doorway of Eddie's hospital room. She watched him as he slept on, keeping an eye on the steady rise and fall of his chest and taking comfort in the steady beep of the heart monitor.

However the longer she watched him lying there in his sleeping state, she felt another kind of discomfort. If only she hadn't missed the first time. If only she had grabbed Eddie to help her look for the silver. The way he cried her name when she left broke her heart and thinking about it brought tears to her eyes again. If she had done it all differently he would be okay and not here in the place he had grown to hate.

She jumped when she heard name, spoken softly instead of screamed.

"Beverly?" Eddie asked. His voice was quiet and a little rough as he blearily blinked at her. Without his glasses, he squinted to see her, and looked even more vulnerable.

"Eddie." She tried to keep her voice even, but it broke at the end and she had to swallow hard. If he could yell at her, he would be. He's angry at her.

And she's surprised by his next words.

"Are," he coughed a little and tried again, "Are you okay?"

The tears fell from her eyes at the genuine concern and she stepped forward to kneel at his bed.

"I'm so sorry," she cried, and apologies for everything fell from her lips. "I shouldn't have left you with them, I shouldn't have missed, I-"

She flinched- she couldn't help it- when his hand touched hers. His fingers curled gently around hers and when she looked up at him, his eyes were rimmed with red and teary as well.

"Beverly don't," he whispered.

"Eddie," she said, her voice breaking all over again.

"We'd _all_ be dead without you." He struggled to form words, exhaustion and drugs battling for his consciousness. "I'm hurt because of _It_ , not you. So... So stop. Please don't..." He trailed off as his heavy eyelids started to droop.

Beverly heard him, and understood what he was trying to say, but seeing him in such a state only fueled her tears. Eddie swallowed and rallied for a moment. And though he didn't have any real strength to move her, she let his hand guide her up and sat down on the bed next to him.

"Stay please?" His big, brown eyes opened to meet hers, a pleading look held within them.

Beverly nodded and she slid down so that her head rested lightly on his shoulder. It wasn't the most comfortable spot to rest, but as Eddie's breath evened out and slumber overtook him again she relaxed. Soon she drifted off too, hand still held by someone who didn't blame her. And she knew even if she still believed otherwise, the person next her would have forgiven her easily anyway.


	2. Waking

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> BASICALLY they get Eddie to the hospital, Richie cries the whole time, Eddie wakes up, they all good yeehaw

When Eddie wakes up he’s cold, surrounded by darkness, and alone. His middle hurts and it’s difficult to breathe for reasons completely different from asthma. His legs ache also, but nothing hurts as much as the fact that he’s alone. Weren’t they all supposed to be together? They wouldn’t have left him would they? Unless It got them. 

As if in answer, Eddie hears bloodcurdling screeches. His heart jumps, unable to tell if it’s the screams of his friends or not. He tries to move, tries to force himself to get to them. He manages to roll onto his stomach, but the movement brings a new wave of excruciating pain. Tears slip out his eyes, and a choking sound gurgles from his throat as he tries to shout for his friends. He struggles in vain to stay awake but the long fingers of unconsciousness pull him mercilessly under. 

* * *

Richie and Bev are the first ones back to Eddie, and for a moment Richie stops in his tracks. 

“He moved,” he says, “He moved. Eddie, Eddie, can you hear me?”

He crashes painfully to his knees near his friend and carefully turns him over. 

“Eddie?” he asks again, voice breaking at the end. 

There’s no response, and Richie cradles Eddie’s head in his lap as Bev checks for a pulse.

“He’s alive,” she breathes. 

“Eddie’s alive!” Richie shouts to the others. 

Ben runs over from where he and Bill were freeing Audra. 

“We gotta get them out of here,” he says and in seconds he’s helping Richie to pick Eddie up. 

Richie swears he can feel Eddie’s fingers grab at his jacket sleeves, but maybe it was just them moving him. Ben offers to carry Eddie, but Richie barely hears it as he starts the trek out of the sewers. There’s only one thing on his mind, and that’s getting Eddie to safety. 

* * *

When Eddie wakes, he’s still cold, but he can feel people around him. They’re moving fast, and a few bumps send pain shooting through his body. He tries to make a noise and he’s not sure if he succeeds or not, but a face swims into view above him and tells him something. He catches the words ‘almost’ and ‘spaghetti’ and he’s confused. He’s ‘almost spaghetti?’ he ponders. He might have laughed if another wave of pain didn’t overwhelm his insides. 

* * *

Richie almost cries when Eddie opens his eyes in the back of the rental car. He almost cries in relief because he’s still alive, and then he almost cries when he sees the pain in Eddie’s eyes. He may be alive now, but… Richie doesn’t want to think about it.

“You’re going to be okay, Eddie. We’re almost to a hospital Spaghetti Man, you’re going to be okay.”

* * *

When they wheel Eddie away to operate, Richie almost follows the doctors in, but Ben’s hand on his shoulder stops him. Now that they got Eddie out of the sewers, and Richie can do nothing more to help him except hope, whatever kept him from breaking down earlier disappeared. 

He watches Bill and Audra disappear down another hall with a team of doctors and he sniffles and swipes at his eyes, but he can’t force himself to stop. Tears fall, unhindered, down his face. Mike was in here too, almost killed by Henry fucking Bowers. Why couldn’t they all just be okay? Why did they have to deal with that fucking clown anyway? Why did they have to forget each other, only to remember to come to this? Stan was dead and Eddie practically on his way. 

“Richie?” a soft voice asks next to him. 

He feels Bev’s hand in his, and Ben’s returns to his shoulder. Both their eyes are red and watery too and the trio falls into one other for support. Somehow, they end up in the waiting room chairs, and they stay clinging to and holding each other for a long time. 

Eventually Bill returns with information on Audra. Physically she’s alright, but there’s no change from the state she was in when they found her. He asks about Eddie, but they have nothing new to share. He’s still in surgery. 

* * *

Richie isn’t sure how many hours have passed when a nurse arrives in the waiting room, looking for them. At one point, Ben got him and Bev some food. He doesn’t remember what it was, just that it was awful hospital food. The two were talking about going out and bringing something better back for dinner when the nurse came. 

They were all on their feet when she asked for them, and Richie had to force himself not to crowd her. 

“Is he okay?” he asks. 

“The surgery was successful,” the nurse answers, “He’s sleeping now. He will likely sleep for a long time, but he is expected to wake. Afterwards we can assess how he is, and decide on a recovery process.” 

She continues on to explain more medical shit and procedures, but Richie doesn’t pay any attention. Eddie’s alive. His eyes stare over the nurse’s shoulder, his whole body itching to see Eddie for himself. 

“Can we see him?” he interrupts. 

The nurse doesn’t seem to mind it, unsurprised and sympathetic. “We’ll have to do two at a time.”

“You two should go,” Bill says to Richie and Bev. Ben nods in agreement and Richie thanks them both wordlessly. His throat is stuck, but the others can see it in his eyes.

He and Bev’s hands find each other as they follow another nurse to the room Eddie has been moved to. Behind them, Ben and Bill get all the information from the surgery, and the voices get smaller and smaller. The hall is suffocating and Richie’s skin crawls as they walk. 

“Do you think this is what it feels like when he can’t breathe?” Richie asks Bev. It comes out in a hoarse whisper.

She squeezes his hand in reply.

They come to the room and Richie can barely feel his body as they enter. Bev sniffles next to him and wipes her eyes. Eddie is laying on a hospital bed, tubes are running from his nose and IVs are attached to his arm. He’s the smallest of all of them, but looks even smaller now. His face is slack and pale, and even though he’s asleep, he looks exhausted. The sight makes Richie’s eyes sting. 

He kneels at the side of the bed and hesitantly takes one of Eddie’s hands in his. Tears fall from his eyes when there’s no reciprocation. He knows there wouldn’t be any, he didn’t expect it, but it still sends his heart to his throat. 

“Eddie,” he chokes out in a whisper, followed by a sob. Beverly kneels next to him, crying also, and they find comfort in each other and the beep of the heart monitor. 

* * *

When Eddie wakes up everything is blurry. All his senses feel… blurry. He can’t think of another word for it. His eyelids are heavy and he lets them slip shut for a while before opening them again. Sluggishly, his sense come back to him, though still in a heavy haze. Something- someone- is holding his hand. 

His heart jumps and he hears a noise to match it. He twitches his fingers and seconds later hears movement next to him. Questions try to swirl through his head and he feels like he should panic. Was he in the cave still? Someone’s shouting and it sounds far away. He remembers shouting and… and screeching. He remembers the dark as he slips away from awareness again. 

When Eddie wakes again, it’s easier to keep his eyes open and he feels much more aware of things. His vision is still slightly blurry and he wonders where his glasses are. Sunlight is streaming through a window and into his face. It’s not blinding him though, and it feels comforting and warm.

He feels something to his side, and his eyes fall on someone with their head laying on the bed next to his arm. A hand rests lightly over his and Eddie relishes the contact. It takes a moment for his hand to respond, but slowly he moves it to rest on Richie’s head. His hair is soft under his fingers and Eddie ruffles it- or some slow imitation of it. The motion is nothing like how Richie ruffled his before. 

Richie jerks awake almost immediately, sitting up and wiping drool from the side of his face. 

“Gross,” Eddie says. It takes effort to say the word, but he can’t help smiling as he says it. 

Richie’s hand drops from his face as he looks at Eddie. “You’re awake.”

Eddie hums, then frowns as Richie’s face breaks from shock to tears. But Richie is smiling, smiling and crying as he surges forward to embrace Eddie.

Eddie brings his arms up to hold Richie’s, going completely around him is too much right now, but Richie doesn’t seem to mind. 

“Are you okay?” Eddie asks. 

A wet laugh comes from Richie, and a moment later he pulls back- but doesn’t completely let go. 

“You’re asking me?” 

“I- yeah. You look awful,” Eddie answers. 

“You’re one to talk, Spaghetti Man.”

Eddie sighs and closes his eyes, but a small smile graces his lips as he relaxes into the pillows. He opens his eyes again to see Richie staring at him carefully. 

“How are you feeling, Eds?”

“Not the best,” he admits, “Thirsty.” 

Richie gets him a cup of water, and helps him take a couple sips. Eddie wakes up a little more, and, remembering what had happened, or at least what they had been trying to do, he looks at Richie. Fear jumps in his eyes as he does. 

“Is-did we do it? Did we kill It?” he asks. 

“It’s gone for good this time,” Richie assures him. He gives what Eddie guesses is an abridged version of the events. It’s very short, and very un-Richie, but he figures he’ll get the details later when they aren’t all still recuperating. Afterwards, Richie offers to bring in the other Losers and Eddie eagerly agrees. 

It feels so good to see them all alive again, except of course, for Stan, Eddie thinks with a pang. But now at least, Stan can really rest in peace. The rest of them are all there though, even Mike makes it in to see him. He doesn’t stay as long as the others, needing to rest again. 

Eddie’s still surrounded by Richie, Bev, Ben and Bill though when he drifts back to sleep too. He falls asleep, warm, and surrounded by friends-  _ family _ , he thinks before slumber takes him. 


	3. Eddie & Ben

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I love Eddie & Ben friendship and I want more of it. COULD be seen as shippy if you wanted it to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dudes it was like 11:30 and I couldnt sleep and I found this unfinished in my phone notes so I finished it. Now it's like 2:30 am and I only remembered I have a designated, published, thing for Eddie Lives one shots because it showed up while I was scrolling for reddie fics. So like yeeHAW sorry I haven't updated this I literally forgot it existed until now.

Eddie's breath hitches and suddenly he can't get any air. He chokes on a sob and his vision is blurred by tears. His heart races as he panics, unable to see and unable to breathe.

But then there's arms around him, gently pulling his head to their chest.

"It's okay, Eds, it's ok," Ben says. He holds Eddie close, but not too tight. He takes one of Eddie's wrists and presses it against his chest to feel the rise and fall of his breathing.

"You're okay, Eddie," Ben whispers, loud enough over the short, panicked gasps.

"I thought- I thought that you all left," Eddie manages to get out between giant gulps of air. "It was dark and-and I couldn't move- I couldn't-couldn't find you guys. I was scared It got- got you-"

Ben shushes him gently and pulls Eddie closer to him. Eddie can feel the rough ends of Ben's beard on his forehead.

"We're all safe, Eddie. You're safe."

It takes a few more moments, but Eddie's breath syncs with Ben's, save for a few shuddering ones and a couple hiccups. Eddie blinks and realizes his face is wet- he was crying. There's moisture above his eyes though too, and he thinks Ben must be too. He's glad, because it means Ben is alive and it must be the real Ben because any clown copy wouldn't be crying with him, or holding him kindly this long. He's briefly panged with sadness and anger, upset at the fact that they all had to go through with what they did. Upset that Stan couldn't see that they finally did it and that It is really gone now.

It's a messy hurricane of feelings that comes and goes quickly; Eddie is too exhausted to possibly address them all now. For now he lets himself sink into Ben and stare into the blurry mid-distance. He thinks for a moment of getting his glasses but Ben settles against the wall- or headboard- or something. It registers that they're still in the hospital and Eddie can feel the bandages on his skin. He shudders as he remembers being picked up by It.

Ben must feel it because he rubs Eddie's shoulder.

"You better now?" he whispers.

Eddie's quiet as he thinks about the last few days. It seems like weeks.

"No," he answers after a minute, voice barely audible. But Ben's arms are around him, Richie, Bev, Mike, and Bill are all still alive, that bastard clown is really dead this time and Eddie raises his voice just a little louder to add, "But I think I will be."

He can tell Ben is smiling as he agrees and Eddie closes his eyes again against his shirt.

"We'll all be," he whispers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> fuck you i am gay and tired and it's taking me like 10 minutes to figure how to publish this chapter fuck


	4. SOFT EDDIE AND RICHIE

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> yknow ;)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> theyre alive and soft, fuck you

Eddie’s recovery was going well and going faster than the doctors had anticipated. Everyone was glad, of course, but it still wasn’t fast enough for Eddie himself. He had spent too many miserable hours in this hospital as a child. Being inside again brought back even more memories against his will. He wanted out and he wanted out bad. 

Thankfully he had at least one of the other losers with him at almost all times, so while the time that passed felt slow it was mostly bearable. He had to admit time with Richie was the best. Eddie had to be careful not to laugh too hard, or pain would shoot through his middle, and more than once they had been told off by nurses to be careful. But Richie’s jokes were ever unstoppable, and they had to resort to quiet giggles and laughter muffled by hands and pillows. 

It took Eddie back to when they were children and Richie would climb the lattice work to Eddie’s room to cheer him up whenever he was ‘sick’. They had all changed, but Eddie was glad for the pieces that hadn’t. Overall, his time in Derry had taken, and was still taking, too slow. He had wanted nothing more than to leave town as soon as he got in it, and now he just wanted out of this hospital. But in certain ways, time was going too fast. Time with Richie was going too fast. When he thought of being apart from RIchie, his heart started to race with despair. 

It was his own little purgatory. Being here was unbearable, but saying goodbye to Richie was too. All too soon, he’d have to say goodbye to those twinkling eyes, the big smiles, big guffaws of laughter, and all the stolen glances they shared, with little, shyer smiles, and laughter that only came through their eyes. God,  _ how  _ could he have forgotten? Would he forget again when he left? The thought terrified him. The thought of going home and having to shove his true self down to please his mother again and make up for leaving her so suddenly scared him too. But of course, his true self wasn’t completely out either. He was too scared to do that too-  _ god _ , why was he so scared all the time? At least he had tried in the sewer. That would probably be the closest he’d ever get. 

These thoughts circled through his head as he lay in the hospital bed with Richie in a chair next to him, assigning voices to the people pictured in a random magazine. Eddie wasn’t even sure exactly what he was saying and the only thing he could focus on was Richie’s face. He took in every detail, because he wanted to remember. Even if it hurt, because he could never really be with Richie after this, he wanted to keep every detail.

The tone in Richie’s voice took a turn, and Eddie realized with a start that Richie was talking  _ to  _ him now.

“What’s wrong, Eddie?” Richie asked, eyebrows knit in concern. 

Eddie blinked and he realized his face was wet. Oh  _ fuck _ , he was crying. Richie leaned forward and wiped his tears away with a gentle thumb. Eddie’s heart raced. Richie’s eyes- his beautiful blue eyes- were staring into his, and suddenly Eddie couldn’t take it anymore and he decided to be brave. 

He closed the gap between them and kissed Richie.

He instantly regretted ever being brave when he pulled apart and immediately started to apologize. 

“Richie, I’m so sorry, I just-” whatever he was going to say was forgotten as Richie brought their lips together again. 

The kiss was tender and soft in a way Eddie wouldn’t expect from Richie, but wasn’t surprised by either. It made every cell in his body light up with warmth and his heart fluttered with excitement. It felt like every good memory of summer- Fourth of July fireworks, splashing in the creek, trying to eat an ice-cream before it melted. It certainly took his breath away, but he didn’t need an inhaler, he just needed Richie. 

When they pulled apart, both their faces had settled into dopey grins. They stuttered a few words at each other, but neither of them could string two of them to make sense and they fell into giggles against each other. Eddie figured there was nothing to say; they already understood what the other wanted to say.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


	5. Eddie & Mike (w Ben at the end)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> UH tw for homophobic mothers.

The situation was hopeless and Eddie had quit trying to speak up. His mother had arrived an hour ago and she and Richie had been shouting for half of it. 

“Eddie’s not in love with you! He never was, and never will be with a person as filthy as you- let alone a man!” his mother shouted. Again. 

He knew telling her was a mistake. She just thought he was even more ill now. He should have just told her he wasn’t going back to New York and not given her a reason, but like with anything she got to him. This time though, he couldn’t make up some excuse. He couldn’t lie anymore. He didn’t want to.

He wished he had. 

They said the same things they had been for half an hour, just with different words. Each round pained Eddie more, but neither would listen to him if he tried saying anything. He wondered if he fainted if they would notice. At least if he did, he wouldn’t have to hear them anymore. Though it’d make things worth for his health, in any aspect. Maybe he’d try to speak up one more time…

“You’ve ruined my boy! Corrupted him!” his mother shrieked. 

“You did that yourself!” Richie snapped back.

“ _ SHUT UP, BOTH OF YOU! _ ”

Well, he’d certainly spoken up. 

There was a blissful handful of seconds of silence as Richie and his mother both looked at him in shock at his outburst. 

“Please,” Eddie said.

They both started to speak and move towards him, but Eddie shrugged them both off. “ _ Don’t _ .”

He pushed past them, grimacing under the physical and emotional pain it required. As he walked away, the fighting started again so he just walked faster. He had to get away, he had to get anywhere else. He walked out a set of double doors into an outdoor courtyard area of the hospital and made his way to the nearest bench. 

He pressed his arms to his sides and tried to swallow back the pain. He didn’t want anyone to see him and call for a doctor or nurse. He just wanted to be alone and have some peace. His eyes stung with frustration and he took his glasses off to cover his face with his hands. 

His shoulders sagged as he heard a wheelchair approaching. 

“Hey, Eddie,” Mike said as he stopped next to the bench. 

Eddie ran his hands over his face and made a weak effort to smile. “Hi Mike.”

“You alright?”

Eddie snorted. “You were the one stabbed by Henry Bowers and you’re asking  _ me  _ if I’m okay?”

“ _ You _ were crushed by It!”

They both shared a laugh and Eddie shook his head. Mike watched him for a minute before asking again.

“You okay?”

Eddie leaned against the back of the bench. “Have I ever been?” he asked miserably. “I mean I know I’ve never really, really been sick. But I can’t  _ ever  _ do anything for myself.” 

“That’s not true.”

“Yes it is, Mike!” Eddie snapped, opening his eyes. They were stinging again. “I still use a fucking inhaler, I still let my mother control me over everything and now when I feel like I have a chance after everything, Richie thinks he should do it for me!” 

He pressed his fists against his knees and a shudder ran through his whole body. “Sorry,” he swallowed, “Sorry for shouting at you.”

Mike put a hand on Eddie’s arm. “It’s okay,” he said gently. 

They sat that way for a few minutes with Mike’s hand on Eddie’s arm and Eddie just wanted to melt into him. But he didn’t want to cause either of them any extra pain. 

“I don’t remember much of it, but Ben confirmed what I thought I saw,” Mike said. 

“What?”

“That you kicked the door open and pulled Bowers off of me.”

“I… did. That’s… surprising.”

“I don’t think so.”

“Huh?” Eddie looked at Mike. 

“Ben said you almost carried me to the car yourself. You only stopped to let him help because I was too tall.”

“Are you saying I’m short?” Eddie joked, but Mike looked at him with such intensity that he immediately closed his mouth again. 

“ Do you think I’m weak?”

“What? No! Of course not, Mike you’re-”

“Then why do you think you’re weak?”

Eddie opened and closed his mouth, looking at Mike and unsure where this was going. 

“Eddie, you’re strong. You’re stronger than you think, and braver too. All of us know that, especially Richie. He’s not protecting you because you’re weak. He’s protecting you for the same reason you saved me from Bowers, even if you might not really need it right now. We all thought you weren’t going to make it out of surgery, and he’s fighting so hard with your mother right now because he’s still on edge. He doesn’t want to lose you again.” 

Eddie swallowed a lump in his throat. 

“You’re strong, Eddie, you always have been.” 

“Thanks, Mike.”

“Of course.”

Mike put an arm around Eddie, and Eddie put his head on his shoulder. Eddie swallowed again and stared ahead.

“Hey, Mike?”

“Yeah?”

“Um. I’m gonna- I’m gonna be brave again,” he said, sitting up.

Mike looked at him, waiting to see what he meant. 

“Richie and my mother are fighting because… because I’m. Well, I told her,” Eddie’s voice dropped to a whisper, “I’m in love with Richie.”

Mike’s grin rivaled the sun it was big and bright. “Oh, Eddie, I’ve known that since we were kids.”

“It’s that obvious?” Eddie laughed. 

“To us it is. And that he loves you back. You’ve both talked about it haven’t you?”

Eddie grinned bashfully. “Yeah. I’m going with him back to California.”

“Good.” Mike clapped a hand on Eddie’s shoulder. 

“What about you? Are you going to stay here, or go somewhere else?” 

“I don’t know. I guess I haven’t thought about it too much, but I think I’d like to try somewhere new. Florida maybe, I keep hearing how great the sunshine is down there.”

“Oh, if it’s the sunshine you want, come to California! That way we can see you more.”

“Why not do both?” said Ben, coming to join them, “Mike you oughta see everywhere, that way Eddie and Richie have to share you with me and Bev.”

“Not a chance, Hanscom. He’s all mine,” Eddie said, carefully draping himself over Mike. 

“Oh you think so huh?” Ben said. His attempt at looking serious failed horribly as they all laughed. 

“Say Eds,” Mike said, his eyes were on the door, “Are you still looking to stand up to your mother some?”

“Why?”

“Sit on my lap.”

“What? Mike no, I could-”

“You can just put most of your weight on the armrest, just hurry up. Ben, push us.”

So Eddie climbed carefully onto the armrests and Ben grabbed the handlebars just as Mrs. Kaspbrak bustled outside with Richie right behind her. She shrieked as the trio sped around them in a circle before taking off towards the opposite end of the courtyard.

Eddie couldn’t help laughing as she shouted for his health as Ben pushed him and Mike through a set of doors and back inside.”

“Let’s get some shitty cafeteria food,” Ben said as Eddie got back to his feet. 

“Yeah, let’s get some  _ shitty  _ cafeteria food,” Mike repeated. 

“I need some of their  _ shitty  _ ice cream,” Eddie said. 

The three of them laughed as they made their way to the cafeteria, and Eddie felt good. He thought that he felt as he should have as a kid, taking delight in the small act of rebellion and letting lose more swear words for fun than he ever had. And the best part about it? Doing it with friends who accepted everything about him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so like this was going to be a vent thing, but then it went off on it's own and i like this better so YEET


	6. Richie's got a migraine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Richie has a migraine and just wants Eddie.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi my head fuckin hurts so this happened.

The pressure wrapped so heavily around Richie's head was unbearable by the time he got home. The California heat didn't help either and he now regretted the walk that did him wonders on the way to work. Yet even the cool air of the house was a bliss barely acknowledged over the unbearable pressure behind his face. He shut the door and leaned on it for a moment.

Eddie wasn't in sight. Maybe he'd gone out or was reading in his room. That was alright, he'd probably just fuss if he knew something was wrong with him, and Richie didn't feel like putting on a funny front. He didn't think he could.

He took out his contacts and grabbed his glasses off the counter, a motion that did nothing to help anything. He took them off when he reached his bedroom and put them on the nightstand. Then he stripped off his trousers and overshirt and collapsed onto the bed. The sheets were blessedly cool against his skin and the pillow was soft as the side of his face pressed into it. 

Briefly he thought he should take some ibuprofen and shut the blinds before settling in to ride the headache out, but it was just too much to even think about moving now that he was down, let alone actually get up again. He laid there with his eyes closed and let his mind wander aimlessly through the pain in his head as he waited for sleep.

After some time had passed, Richie wasn't sure how much had and at this point didn't care, he distantly heard Eddie call for him. He let out an acknowledging groan that he was here, but it evidently was too quiet for Eddie to hear for the other man shouted for him again. Richie cracked his eyes open as he heard his footsteps come up the stairs. The following knock on the half open bedroom door made him wince.

"Richie?" Eddie asked.

The volume of his voice was normal, but it pierced through Richie's skull and he winced again and closed his eyes.

"Hm?"

"Rich are okay?"

" 'M fine. Li'l headache."

"Doesn't look like there's anything little about it," Eddie muttered.

Richie listened to the swish of his trousers as he walked to the side of the bed and heard his joints as he squatted down. He opened his eyes and squinted at Eddie, who's face was now inches from his own.

"Your face is too bright, my sunshine, could you pull a curtain?" Richie mumbled.

"Have you taken anything?" Eddie asked. His voice was a blessed whisper and Richie could have kissed him if he hadn't felt like a rhino was sitting on his head and if he could stop repressing his feelings.

"Mm mm."

"Was that a 'yes' or a 'no' mm mm?"

"No."

Eddie nodded. "Ok, don't go anywhere, I'll be right back."

Richie closed his eyes as Eddie stood up and thought he should have a come back to that. But he didn't. Eddie pulled the curtains shut before he left the room and Richie was glad for the added layer of darkness.

Eddie came back and Richie let him coax him to sit up to swallow some painkillers and water. Eddie took the glass and Richie flopped back down onto the pillow, an action that was too fast and sent another spike of pain through his whole skull. He didn't have energy to complain except for his face to twist in pain. Eddie rubbed his shoulder.

"Need anything else?"

_Just you,_ Richie thought, but he said, "No."

"Okay," Eddie said. He started to step away but paused with his fingers lingering on Richie's shoulder.Richie wanted to look up at him, but he couldn't bring himself to open his eyes. "I'll be downstairs if you do."

Eddie withdrew and Richie listened as he went downstairs. It was silent for a moment but then the quiet murmur of the TV filtered up to his ears. The sound and his accompanying thoughts grated on him until he made the decision. Slowly, he pushed himself up and off the bed. He had to pause for a moment as the room swayed, then when it steadied, he shuffled out of the room. He was so slow and quiet that Eddie didn't notice him until he was down the stairs.

He said something that Richie heard but didn't retain and unfolded his legs from the couch to get up. Before he could, Richie wordlessly fell onto the cushions next to him, laid down with his head in Eddie's lap, and closed his eyes. Eddie was still for a few seconds, but relaxed back into the couch, and after a few more seconds his hands tentatively found their way to Richie's hair.

Richie couldn't help the sigh that escaped from him as Eddie gently massaged his head and all the tension of the choice to sit with him was quickly replaced with relaxation as well. The laugh track on the TV turned to white noise and soon Richie drifted off


	7. drool

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> eddie's mom sucks and these bitches gay!

Richie stepped back from the kitchen table and marveled at his masterpiece. A tower made from a whole deck of cards stood triumphantly atop the table. Richie was proud of it, too proud of how he'd sat still and focused on it until it was finished, to simply knock it over. He grabbed his Polaroid camera from the hall closet and snapped a photo. He wanted to shout for Eddie to come see, but Eddie was upstairs on the phone with his mother. However maybe Richie needing Eddie to show him something would be a welcome excuse to get off the phone.

The intervention was unnecessary though, for as Richie thought about it, he heard the bedroom door open and Eddie's footsteps. Richie jumped back up from where he had sat again at the table in his excitement, and unfortunately bumped the table leg just enough that the tower of cards crashed down. He swore with a groan as he turned to face Eddie, now at the bottom of the stairs, but before Richie could say anything, Eddie stole his full attention. 

His face was uncharacteristically blank and Richie barely had time to process it before Eddie had beelined into his chest. He wasn't crying, which Richie wasn't sure if he were glad of or not because Eddie wasn't doing anything except slightly leaning into him. Richie lifted his arms and settled them around Eddie and he sagged into him more.

"Bad call?" Richie asked.

Eddie didn't answer so they just stood there and Richie held him in silence. The only sound was the clock and a few cars passing outside. When Richie's legs started to feel uncomfortable from standing, he guided Eddie to the couch. He didn't like the way Eddie's blankness didn't break the whole time. Once they were on the couch, Eddie just fell into him again and Richie ran his fingers through the blonde's hair. He felt like he should say something, he _needed_ to say something, but he didn't know what.

"Do you... want to talk about it?" He asked tentatively.

"No."

Well, at least he spoke.

"Okay," Richie said.

A few more minutes of silence passed that were almost nice if the situation were a little different. Then Eddie sniffled and Richie felt a slight tremble as he inhaled.

"You okay?" Richie asked quietly.

"I don't know."

"Okay." Richie pressed his lips to the top of Eddie's head. "That's okay."

"She's hopeless," Eddie said. His voice was empty and lacked of the hope he _usually_ had for his mother.

Richie pressed his tongue to the back of his teeth, but didn't speak. Sonia Kaspbrak _was_ hopeless, she always had been, but Eddie always had hope that she wasn't. Richie wasn't sure whether confirming his recent statement would be helpful or not, or if he should counter it instead. Countering it would be bad, because there was no hope for Sonia Kaspbrak and Richie couldn't drop this chance for Eddie to see that and accept he didn't need his mothers approval. Confirming it might make Eddie angry though, as it had before so Richie didn't know what to say. The unfortunate reality was that either way ended in Eddie hurting and Richie hated that.

"I'm sorry," Richie eventually said. He kissed Eddie's head again and just held him a little tighter.

"I hate this."

"I know."

Eddie moved now, wrapping his arm around Richie's middle and burying his face into Richie's chest. Richie continued to hold him, and adjust their legs so they were laying more comfortably on the couch.

When Eddie looked up at him, his eyes were red rimmed, but hardly a tear had fallen out.

"I'm sorry," he said and Richie frowned.

"For what?"

He watched as Eddie's mind worked behind his big brown eyes. He watched as he came up with idea after idea that he knew Richie would only away down. Good, because anything Eddie apologized for in this moment should be because Eddie had nothing he should apologize for. They'd cycled through this more than once and Richie was satisfied when Eddie gave up and dropped his head back onto his chest.

"I don't know," Eddie sighed, staring into the space of their living room.

Richie brought a hand up to run through Eddie's again.

"I love you, Spaghetti Man," he said.

"Love you too, Rich," Eddie murmured.

Eddie relaxed against him and they continued to lay there. The silence was much better now, but Richie remembered his card tower. He was about to tell Eddie about it when he felt moisture soak through his shirt. At first he worried that Eddie had started to cry, but when he moved his head to look, he was sleeping. Richie bit his lip to keep from laughing, for the wetness was, in fact, drool. He inhaled with a smile and leaned his head back on the armrest. If only he had the camera now.


	8. Richie has a nightmare

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i have no goddamn consistent writing style *breakdances sadly*

Eddie's startled awake by a hand smacking his face. He blinks up through the darkness and as his brain wakes up it registers the sound of whimpering next to him, then his name. Eddie pushes himself up and gropes for Richie's shoulder.

"Rich-," he's cut off by Richie's hand brushing against his nose and Eddie knows he's narrowly missed another accidental smack. Eddie can feel the rest of Richie writhe next to him too.

" _Richie_ ," Eddie says a little louder now. His hand finds Richie's shoulder and he shakes him. "Richie, your safe."

Richie shoots up right with a startled cry.

"Eddie- Eddie- we have to get Eddie out-" he says.

"Richie I'm right here-"

"He doesn't like the dark, guys- Eddie-"

"Hey, hey, sshh, shh, shh." 

Eddie takes Richie by the shoulders. "You got me out, I'm right here."

"Ed-Eddie?" Richie hiccups.

"Yeah, it's okay," Eddie whispers.

"There's so much blood, I have to get you out," Richie cries and Eddie's heart breaks.

"Richie wake up, I'm ok. We're in your bedroom," he says, "I'm gonna turn on the light, okay?"

He lets go of Richie to reach for the lamp on the nightstand and flicks it on. Richie is breathing heavily on his side of the bed, tangled in the sheets. When he sees his surroundings, he chokes back a sob and Eddie pulls him into his chest.

"It's ok," Eddie tells him. "You got me out, I'm ok, you're ok."

Richie holds him so tight it nearly hurts but Eddie lets him and returns the embrace with repeated whispers that everything's ok.

"I see you die- you die every time," Richie sobs, "I hate it."

"I know," Eddie answers. He presses a kiss to Richie's head. "But I'm here, I'm gonna be here every time you wake up, okay?"

Richie sniffles and nods against Eddie's chest.

"Do you want me to make some hot chocolate?" Eddie asks.

"Can we just sit here a while?"

"Sure, Rich."

Eddie settles against the pillows and headboard of the bed and wraps his arm tightly around Richie. "As long as you need."


	9. richie has another nightmare

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao okokok i found this in my docs. tw for vomiting.

Richie sat bolt upright, a scream dying on his lips. The air was cold as it rushed against his sweat slicked skin and he shivered as the weight of Eddie bleeding out still haunted his shoulders. The terror was still far from gone as the feeling melted away and he lurched out of bed, tripping over the sheets tangled around his feet. He made it to the bathroom just in time to upturn the dinner they had into the toilet. A sob managed to push it's way from his lips before another wave of half digested dinner came up.

He jumped when a hand suddenly touched his shoulder and he felt another body kneel next to his.

"It's just me," Eddie said gently, and Richie only managed to look at him for a second before turning his face back to the toilet.

He fumbled blindly with Eddie's arm until he was holding his hand as he dry heaved. He had to touch and he was glad when Eddie's fingers curled tightly back around his in support instead of hanging there, lifeless.

Finally, out of breath and out of anything to throw up, Richie closed the toilet lid with his other hand and looked at Eddie. Stared at him, really. Their eyes locked and Richie just stared. He stared at the concern and worry filling them, and although he hated to see Eddie worry, he was glad for it now, because that meant they were alive- Eddie was alive. Eddie was alive after he had been so fucking close to death.

Richie took a shuddering breath and hiccuped on the ghost of his sobs. "Hi," he said.

Eddie's expression softened, if it was even more possible to do so than it already was and he ran his thumb over the back of Richie's hand. "Hey."

They stared at each other for another beat, before Eddie pulled his hand away from Richie's to fill the glass on the sink with water. Richie took it and spit into the bathtub a few times, it was too much to stand and do so into the sink.

"Bad dream?" Eddie asked. He pushed Richie's curls from his forehead and Richie couldn't help leaning into the touch.

"Yeah." He couldn't take his eyes off Eddie. He stared at where Eddie's left arm should be before his eyes drifted to his middle. He had lost so much blood and the thought of it soaking and spreading through Eddie's multiple layers of clothing made Richie nauseous again.

"Shit, fuck," he breathed and fumbled the toilet lid up again.

Eddie's hand rubbed his back and shoulders and Richie felt like crying again. Thankfully, he didn't puke and when he was sure he wasn't going to heave either, he leaned away from the toilet. He and Eddie both sat on the floor with their backs against the bathtub. The tile of the floor was cold and felt good, and with Eddie still rubbing his shoulders he let the tension start to slip from his body.

He slid down slowly until he could let his head drop onto Eddie's shoulder. "Thanks, Eds," he whispered.

Eddie hummed gently in response and rested his cheek on the top of Richie's head. His finger traced circles on Richie's shoulder and Richie would have screamed at how tender and gentle the moment was if he wasn't completely drained.

Instead, he made a joke.

"You come here often?"

"No. But I wouldn't mind," Eddie replied.

Wait, shit. Eddie wasn't supposed to answer like that. Was that saying Eddie didn't mind caring for him? He wasn't supposed to say that. He was supposed to laugh and tell Richie that joke was old and stupid.

"Place don't have a good crowd," Richie said.

"Yeah. I told you pineapple's not a good companion."

Richie smiled.  _ Eddie Kaspbrak gets off a good one _ .

"Come on," said Eddie, nudging Richie. "Let's get you back to bed."

He stood up, limbs still shaky, and let Eddie lead him to the bed. Richie lowered onto it and Eddie pulled the covers over him. Richie reached out and grabbed the hem of his shirt.

"Please don't go," he whispered. He sat up again and looked at Eddie. His vision was extra blurry with tears as he opened and closed his mouth silently. He couldn't say what he wanted- what he  _ needed _ , but Eddie understood.

He sat next to Richie and pulled him down to the mattress with him. Richie wasted no time in putting an ear to Eddie's chest to hear his heartbeat. It was the best lullaby to fall asleep to.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im tired, stressed, and gay, stay tuned for more


End file.
